spencerleegriffin:

When I met and shook hands with President Obama on Friday I introduced myself and said, “my name is Spencer Griffin and I work at collegehumor.com.” He said, “okay, so are you funny?” and I said confidently, “yeah, I’m funny.” And he said, “tell me something funny.” And I blanked. He laughed and said, “yeah, that’s what I thought.” I got roasted by the President of the United States.

pemsylvania:

proton, neutron, electron and crouton 

rumpelstiltskln:

Tiara and Austin learn how funny numbers can be

communistbakery:

I tried to make a pun about elastic but it was a stretch

jumblejo:

 

The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials

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tea-and-tumblr:

snorlaxatives:

i don’t understand people who make multiple facebook statuses every day like wtf i haven’t made a facebook status since like world war 2

"wow this trench sucks #didnazithatcoming"

multipack:

do u ever go to school confident in what ur wearing and then u actually get there and ur kind of just like wow well this was an awful idea

hula-chili-soup:

is your heart supposed to pound for ten minutes straight after you answer one question in class

harry potter series + a short summary

sabrielshipping-charliebartlett:

"We’re preparing you for the real world"

I don’t meant to alarm you but

the real world has calculators

jaclcfrost:

u think i am walking around the house with a blanket around my shoulders because i cold but in actuality it is my cloak and i am on an adventure

©uk